A Mother Of the Bride Tells Her Story

My beautiful “baby” was getting married. This would be one of the most special occasions of my life. But instead of dreaming about the wedding day, I found myself fretting. There were a lot of things to tick off my list, lots that could go wrong. And at the back of my mind there was a nagging question: “what about my dress?”

The girls were divided. Some said that I should take time out to find the perfect piece at a boutique or department store. It’s possible - if you look hard enough - they said.  Others said no, get it made for you. So many things to consider, so many things to get right. You’ll need expert assistance.  And they reminded me that I deserved something really special, especially made for me. After all, “how often is your daughter going to get married” they quipped.

Having it made “bespoke” turned out to be a big, no, huge blessing. All my doubts and uncertainties were taken away. I couldn’t have gotten a more beautiful dress, one that fitted the occasion yet let me shine. And I never lost a night’s sleep from beginning to end.

Start at the end, I was advised. Try to imagine the photos that will be taken on the day, the treasures that you’ll keep. Now let’s think through all the elements of the composition. Your daughter must of course be the center of attention. Everyone should take their cue from her. Maybe she’d like a matching look with the Mothers, Bridesmaids and flower girls singing off the same song sheet. Maybe she’d want to mix and match. Find out.

Once your daughter, the belle of the ball, decides what she’ll wear; discuss how she envisions the wedding party looking and in particular how she’d like to see you dressed. How formal, what style, color or fabric? Not that every detail needs to be slavishly followed. “Just listen to her” seemed like good common sense so far.  Not sure I would have figured it out alone though.

Then for the “uncommon” part: how to turn this sketch of an idea into my perfect dress, one that I would adore, one that my daughter would love and that everyone would admire. This was when my dressmaker showered me with ideas from her collections, fabric swatches, color cards, tear sheets in order for us to get a tangible idea of how my dress should be. Then perfect measurements were taken of my silhouette. Trust me, ready-to-wear is a compromise. Made to measure is the way to go. Anyway, now I was ready to place my bespoke order with full confidence.

Looking into the mirror at my first fitting brought me immense pleasure. And upon close examination I simply couldn’t believe the incredible craftsmanship that had gone into creating my dress. Every stitch was perfect. Just perfect I thought. But not perfect enough to the trained eye of my perfectionist dressmaker. So, a tiny adjustment was made.

This in a word is my story. And it did end with a “happily ever after” but before going, let me leave you with a tiny piece of sage advice. There is added wisdom to the time-worn cliché “Good things come to those who wait”: Great things come to those who wait three months.