First off, it should be appreciated that creating a bespoke mother of the bride dress takes an understanding of human nature. It takes recognizing that the love between a mother and a daughter is forever. It is priceless. But, although this is not always the case, we should recognize that a mother’s love for her daughter is often somewhat unrequited or not returned to the same degree. Indeed, it is hard for a daughter to truly appreciate the depth of her mother’s love. Her wedding, however, is an occasion when she most often feels and expresses her love and appreciation for Mom always being there for her.

From the couturier’s perspective, the psychology centers on a particular aspect of mother-daughter love: the notion of pride. When a mother feels that her daughter is proud of her, her heart fills with happiness. In turn, a mother is always proud of her daughter, especially on her wedding day. And, of course, a mother needs to feel proud of what she herself wears on the day. When these come together, Mom’s heart bursts with joy.

For Mom, her daughter’s wedding day must be perfect. Nothing can go wrong. But so much can. So, Mom feels that she must supervise everything. That’s pressure. The last thing she needs to worry about is her dress. Yet it is so important to her. It’s always there at the back of her mind. And the closer it gets to the big day, the greater the anxiety that can creep in. Unless of course, she has found her ideal dress. That can be hard, given that an “ideal” means something perfect that tends to mostly exist in the imagination and, by definition, is not likely to become reality. Unless the couturier is able to get at what is in her imagination. That takes a special, intuitive talent and being fully prepared to present and suggest ideas with the right stimuli like tear sheets, designs, styles, fabrics, colors and so on.

In our experience what’s in a mother’s imagination varies. Some imagine a dress which will radiate their own beauty. Others a dress that will perfectly complement their daughter’s. The ideal is something both perfect for daughter and mother. Having explored the numerous designer ready-to-wear options, our clients report that they weren’t “ideal.” They just weren’t motivated enough to take the plunge to order one. Sometimes it was a shape or a line in the dress itself that wasn’t quite right for them. Oftentimes, they didn’t feel confident enough to make the purchase. Too many factors go into making that decision, they said. They needed more hand holding than was provided at even the best salons in Manhattan. So, they turned to couturiers, like us, that would guide and inspire them from beginning to end.

Here at Gramercy Atelier we believe that the art is in the process, just as it’s deeply embedded in our product, which we proudly call Fine Art Wear. Without this sounding too much like an advertisement, we do not often hear of that special dressmaker who pays more attention to the process of creating the ideal mother of the bride dress. It’s not so much about what steps we take, as it is about the way we take those steps. The steps themselves are easy enough to outline, and though the way we take them is harder to put into words they are easily experienced and felt at Gramercy Atelier. Anyway, here goes.

As much as a woman thinks about what she wants, we urge her to always remember that feelings should guide her down the aisle [as it were] toward the making of her decision. It is about the heart we say, much more than it is about the head. Always consult the heart first. Don’t try to rationalize liking or disliking a particular fabric for example. Relying on one’s own intuition and asking oneself if it feels right – listen to the heart. The art is in the process when it comes to making a perfect mother of the bride dress.

We advise our clients to start at the end. Creating something ideal starts with using one’s imagination. So, try to imagine the photos of the wedding day. We know that a dress will only be created after consulting with the bride-to-be. But what about the mother of the groom? Or the grandmother of the bride? What about the bridesmaids, or the groom? So, as the mother of the bride, try to imagine how everyone should look. Tell us what’s in your mind’s eye. Many of our clients predictably find this task hard. So, the creation of your dress inevitably needs to start at a much more practical place, listening to what your daughter wants; and relaying that to us.

As emphasized, Mom wants her daughter to be especially proud of her on her wedding day. So, she must put herself in her daughter’s shoes. It’s her day. She probably does not want her Mom looking like the belle of the ball [to mix a metaphor.] She’s the center of attraction. All eyes must turn to her. Now we’re not saying that Mom should follow her daughter’s wishes slavishly. But we do say that first and foremost she must listen to her. Ask how she sees her outfit: for instance, whether or not she wants the Mother of the Groom and Bridesmaids to sing off the same song sheet or mix and match.

Eliciting these insights is easier said than done. It means knowing how to phrase these questions in order for them to be well received by the particular client. It means appreciating that some have better imaginations than others. It takes knowing how to probe without being overly forward. In short, it takes doing whatever it takes to work together to “co-create” the dress.

Having said this, the real insights needed to create Mom her ideal dress have yet to come. True “co–creation” takes envisioning the same beautiful end result. Here’s where we excel at Gramercy Atelier. Our intuition and experience combined with access to the most wonderful designs, styles, fabrics, tear sheets and so on – work in concert to determine how the ideal dress will look and feel. The art of this process will only end with the Mother of the Bride’s complete peace of mind that her “made to order” bespoke dress will be nothing short of ideal.

This takes us to the point when we’ll actually start making the dress. If it’s going to be ideal, there’s no excuse for not being perfect. This takes old world attention to detail. It takes real care. It takes time. “Good things come to those who wait,” we say while adding that great things will come from our work. And we live up to our word. Creating an ideal bespoke mother of the bride dress in this way together with the quality of our materials is our passion.

The art of creating the “ideal” mother of the bride dress provides an excellent example of why women’s bespoke is once again becoming more relevant to discerning women and the ever-evolving world of high fashion. We’re going back to the future of dress making.

Back to the traditions, values, processes and expertise of the original haute couture masters of a bygone era.

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